November 14, 2013

GYPSY

There are rare occasions when I feel identify with a song, as it brings emotions and feelings out from me. One of them and most recent was "Alegria" from Cirque du Soleil. Now a new song have came out, and Gaga have made it, causing those emotions to come out from me, as it tells something about my life, and what it has been. This emotions are: Stand UP, Breath, Breath, Smile, Sing Out Loud, Fly, Dream, Jump, and Dance, Dance, Dance...... because I am alive.




"Gypsy"

By Lady Gaga.

Sometimes a story has no end
Sometimes I think that we could just be friends
"'Cause I'm a wandering man," he said to me.

And what about our future plans?
Does it seem we have even make sense?
When I got the whole world in front of me

So I said, "I don't wanna be alone forever.
But I can be tonight
I don't wanna be alone forever
But I love gypsy life
I don't wanna be alone forever
Maybe we can see the world together
I don't wanna be alone forever
But I can be tonight, tonight."

So I just packed my baggage and
Said goodbye to family and friends
And took the road to nowhere on my own

Like Dorothy on a yellow brick
Hope my ruby shoes get us there quick
'Cause I left everyone I love at home

And I don't wanna be alone forever
But I can be tonight
I don't wanna be alone forever
But I love gypsy life
I don't wanna be alone forever
Maybe we can see world together
I don't wanna be alone forever
But I can be tonight, tonight

'Cause I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
A gypsy, a gypsy, a gypsy
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
A gypsy, a gypsy, a gypsy
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
A gypsy, a gypsy, a gypsy
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
A gypsy, a gypsy, a gypsy, I'm

And then he asked me,
Said, "Baby, why do we love each other?"
I said, "Honey, it's simple.
It's the way that you love and treat your mother."

Thought that I would be alone forever
But I won't be tonight
I'm a man without a home
But I think with you I can spend my life
And you'll be my little gypsy princess
Pack your bags and we can chase the sunset
Bust the rearview and fire up the jets
'Cause it's you and me
Baby, for life

Would you go with me?
(For life)
See the world with me

'Cause I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
A gypsy, a gypsy, a gypsy
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
A gypsy, a gypsy, a gypsy. I'm

Russia, UK, Paris, I'm
Italian, Asian, Kompai
Africa, India, I'm
A gypsy, a gypsy, a gypsy. I'm
Latin American, I don't speak German but I try
Someday in Jakarta, I'm
American, I'm gypsy I
Bangkok, Australia, Malaysia
Sweden, Finland, Norway
Be my home just for the day
I'm a gypsy, gypsy, gypsy hey



( #Dance #Love #live #Happy #happiness #Alegria #ArtPop #LadyGaga #Gypsy #traveler #alone #friends #husband )


August 27, 2013

I Had Everything


After a long, long day I am back to what it seems like is my place to live. I look around the bathroom, about regular size. Above the sink, dirty blurry windows, tiles are missing here and there, the corrosive pluming barely works, some might call it vintage, I call it old. I look around thinking... this is falling apart. I refresh myself before to step into what now I might call it a room.

I look around, old wood floors, on each step I make the sound of wood cracking, in front of me there are big windows ceiling to floor framed in wood; some squares of glass are broken, some others can’t see trough. I wonder if someone at the other side can see trough, I shake my head and I look behind me, as a bed a mattress, the sheets are there, and a blanket. The bed is a mess, it shows that haven’t been made in days. Some old lamps on the side, but these ones have something especial, I plugged them into a dimmer, to feel like a little more like home. High ceilings in this room, bringing a feeling of emptiness, at the top of the ceiling looks dark, the light from my lamps doesn’t go that far, neither what comes trough the windows.

Hi, you are here!, nice to see you..... What? Are you staying here?, you can’t (I tell him scared), she will be coming, you can’t stay here (I am nervous), She doesn’t know I am gay, and if she finds out........ No!, you don’t understand, you must go!. She will be upset, not good will comes from it. You have to go!...........

A sudden realization of reality hits me.

I am wrong, no one is coming, she doesn’t live here. She is far, far away. (This realization calmed me down, making me feel little better). I stand up from the only place to sit, the bed; as I stand I say: “I can’t believe, I had everything, and I lost it. I lost it all. I have nothing now”.

As I turn, you tell me. That’s it! You can’t live like this, that’s enough. You grab a piece of old falling apart baggage, and put my belongings in there. Closed under your arm you tell me, “You come with me, you come with me now!”.
In my mind, I tell my self I can’t go, this is my place now, I had everything, and I lost it. This is all what I have. I look at him to tell him my thoughts. He doesn’t let me; he grabs my hand and pulls me with him. I knew, I should go with him.

Wait!, I need to grab few things, I grab a marble square, a coaster that means something to me. I wrap them into a piece of fabric. Then I walk behind him. Nothing else here is mine.

The room manager, steps in front, wondering what is going on. We walk around him, and left the room.

At this point, I woke up. It was a dream, it was just a dream; but this dream left me with a strange feeling trough out the day. It was a dream.


August 12, 2013

Beautiful People

"The most beautiful people we have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life, that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen".




April 15, 2013

To Be Human




Walk, walk, walking,
Rain is coming.
Breath, breath, breathing,
Rain have shown.
Think, think, thinking,
What about me!.
Feel, feel, feeling.
My heart is at a dream.
Talk, talk, talking,
Out Louder, voice your thoughts out.
Scream, Scream, Screaming,
I don’t want to be here,
It is too much for me.
Strong, strong, stronger,
What I became to be.
Focus, focus, focus.
Stay in track, only feel what you need.
Touch, kiss, hugs,
Be in peace, my own self in a dream.
Run, Scream, Fight,
Out loud, fly away, and let it be.
Kind of lost, at times I feel,
New days are passing in front of me,
What I have, can be taken away,
What I don’t far from gone,
It is a thought, in me;
Right thing, It is a guess that nobody knows,
Keep on walking, stay strong,
It is what I got,
Let it be, 
Good to be shown.
Good, stays in me.
Good surrounds,
It's a hope.
Peace, peace, be in peace,
One day it will be.

(With you I will be)......



November 08, 2012

Stan by Me



 
(Once in a life time, you did stand by me)

When the night has come, and the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we will see
No, I won't be afraid, oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
So darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, stand by me, stand by me
*Solo*

And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, stand by me, stand by me
So darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me
Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, oh stand, stand by me... 



October 25, 2012

3 7



I remember eight years ago, where I was. I was still trying to figure out live, and mostly myself. I really didn’t have much back then, as I was starting a new life, the only thing I had myself, and proudly I stand on that, with hopes for a good future. Yesterday I turned 37, and having happy feelings about it, as well sad; I arrived to this age, especially because one amazing situation marked my life forever. The man I loved with all my heart and soul was 37 years old back then. Accomplished man, settle in what he wanted, his house, car, career, pretty much a good life. A man I admire and placed my eyes and heart on. I worked my live close to his standards and learn some new ones for myself. He was 37 years old, I was 29. July 2nd 2004 is the day when my life changed. The only and truly time where I felt the world around me is not other than just see through his eyes, his touch. I found happiness; as many of us we had hard times, we had great times, but that incomparable connection we had built a strong bond, in some point I felt in love, that feeling 8 years later still lay sleeping in me. No need to write again things that happened between the years, as we no longer are together. I just will say, I died the day everything came to the end, and I became a different man. Now I am the one who is 37 years old. I have accomplished a good live, settle in it, I own my house, a great car, and I do have a good career. but I no longer have my love.  I won’t complain, I am not longer upset for it, is what it is. I truly believe I never again will fall in love. Now these days I am single, I don’t have anyone in my life, and I am not looking either. I care for my loving cat who arrive into my life, that is all what I need. About the future is uncertain. About the matters of the heart, I don’t hope for anything. I had the best of the best, after that what else is there to look for. Just to keep myself smiling day after day. I am now 37, same age as you 8 years ago.